My wife Irene and I always talked openly about life. Even after she was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer in 2001, we still planned things, laughed together and made the most of every moment we had.
The surgeon who operated on Irene told me to prepare myself, because she was unlikely to live for another 12 months. She was already in the advanced stages of cancer by then, but due to a clinical trial she took part in, she proved everyone wrong and lived for another 11 years.
Every extra year felt like a gift. We arranged treatments around holidays, days out at Ascot and anything else we wanted to do. She refused to let cancer stop us living.
Before she died in 2012, Irene said something to me that I’ve never forgotten: ‘We’ve had a great life. Grieve, but not for too long. And when you retire, give something back.”
That conversation stayed with me.
I was 59 when Irene died, and when I finally retired in December 2017, after 48 years working for the same construction company, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, so I knocked on the door at Keech Hospice and asked if I could be of any use.
They were looking for volunteer drivers, and I jumped at the chance.
Since then, I’ve been volunteering two or three days a week, picking patients up and bringing them to the Living Well Centre in Bedford or the hospice in Luton. Some are coming for treatment, while others attend the Buddies Group, where they can spend time with people who understand what they’re going through.
Every day I pick someone up, I think about fulfilling Irene’s wish of giving something back to the local community.
What I love most about volunteering is the people. Some patients are chatty and cheerful, others are quieter. You learn to tell whether someone wants conversation or just a calm journey. Sometimes people open up completely.
I remember one lady I drove who had ovarian cancer herself. We got talking, and I mentioned Irene. Not in too much detail, but enough for her to know I understood a little of what she was facing. Those conversations matter.
Volunteering has helped me too. It gave me purpose after losing Irene and keeps me active and connected. Outside of Keech, I play a lot of golf, but I genuinely love my volunteering days. In fact, I’m disappointed if they don’t need me! Although normally they do.
All the volunteer drivers have a get-together every November, which is always lovely. There’s a real sense that everyone is there for the same reason: to help people.
Looking back now, I realise how important those conversations with Irene were. If we hadn’t talked so openly about life, loss and what comes next, I might never have volunteered at all.
Instead, every journey I make feels like I’m carrying her kindness forward.
Inspired by Gordon?
Thinking of giving back and supporting your local charity? Whether you want to drive our patients to appointments, you’re a green-fingered enthusiast or love meeting our shoppers, we have a volunteering role right for everyone.
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